I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
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