Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
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