im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Henceforth: booty calls will now be referred to as "deliveries of anatomy". That is all.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
I need you to get the emergency bail money out if the stuffed panda and go to the police station tot bail me out. I should be there in 20 minutes.
Randomize