You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
I mean we've tried to get high on nutmeg, we clearly dont know the definition of "too far"
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
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