I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I popped a zit on your vagina. Don't say I never loved you.
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Also, last night I had a dream that I was in a victoria's secret fashion show and they made me wear a t-shirt over my lingerie. Spring dieting begins now.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
Randomize
