this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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