So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
When I said to shut up, I meant it. I'm sorry you have a bald spot now, but it was necessary.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
