i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I found the orange juice, it was hiding in the vodka...trickster.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
Your dignity remains intact. He, on the other hand, is completely convinced he slept with your cat.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
