While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
