Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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