When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
Randomize
