and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am