Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
23 Crazy Psychological Tricks You Have To Try on Someone RIGHT NOW
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
These 25 People Forgave their Significant Others for Saying Stupid Things
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
This is classic penis vs brain.
Come share oat with me in your robe
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge