toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
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