after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
Oh god the guy I took underwear from at the bar is trying to add me as a friend on facebook now.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
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