I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
This guy smells like mr Rogers puppets and I don't know how to deal with it
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
New rule. Every time you and I have a disagreement that lasts longer than 10min, while in a bar, we'll have a shot. Figure we'll eventually start agreeing sooner rather than later...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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