woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
I’m looking forward to our Cougar years. These freshmen know how to fuck
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