i'm not a human right now. not even a dancer.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
so was this before or after i puked down the ice luge?
You know that hot fire fighter I fucked yesterday? Well him and two other guys are killing the fire on my stove. Awkward.
I've decided to tape numbers to the bottom of my heels corresponding to the number of drinks I can safely consume in them.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
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