i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
just tried googling 24 hr taco bell and when i typed "24 hour" it autocompleted with fitness. buzzzz killllll
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Girl... I just woke up with a bloody mary in a to go cup on my nightstand and two hours late for work.. I'm sorry i can't go out on weekdays anymore. Luckily my boss was just happy i was ok
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
Randomize
