I know she is the girl of my dreams bc she orgasmed, rolled over and then asked if I knew that Orlando beat Cleveland.
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
Randomize
