So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
