Just FYI I rubbed poison oak on all your sheets and blankets so we all will know who you hooked up with (in about a day)
I lined up everyone's pillows and I'm playing Evel Knievel when I jerk off later.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
