I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
so I think he was half asleep, but he woke me up by saying "where's my cow? Is it being shipped?" He must have been dreaming about farmville..
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
Grandma is high again and locked herself in the house
Just a heads up that Dad just brought home a new Porsche and the sales girl he bought it from.
Umm okay. What are they doing?
They’re in the hot tub
Can I get divorced when I grow up?
Randomize
