i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
you know i'm gay cause i'd have sex with lady gaga. what straight man would say that?
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
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