Having a random hookup so left but love u
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
My insides feel lik shag carpet. It is awesome
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
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