Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
Randomize