I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You were so drunk you told some dude your life story in one short sentence... and kissed his fiancé. You're invited to the wedding.
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
