were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
In case you're wondering what eggs stolen from an elementary school's chicken coop taste like, delicious. Delicious is what they taste like.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My new roommate is awesome. His father owns a bar and his sister has an E cup. I'm going to be with him forever
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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