My girlfriend figured out who you are.
We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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