Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I learned the hard way a garbage bag will not save you when jumping from a tree at 2am
The high school classes are online, not my sex life. He still comes over for “teacher / parent conferences.” A couple more “conferences” and I’ll be able to rewrite the Sex Ed curriculum
Randomize
