I woke up in a stranger's bathtub with a broken shower curtain as my blanket.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Edward fifth and chaser hands
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
So that guy from plenty of fish has a lightning bolt tattooed on his face. I kinda feel like I HAVE to sleep with him now.
Randomize