Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
How drunk are you??
I'm flawless.
how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
I will pee on everything he values.
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
Randomize
