the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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