her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He woke me up at 6:30 to have sex again and afterwards, he didn't even judge me when I asked him if he wanted some rum. I think I found my soulmate.
Just got my LSAT score...if you need me I'll be drunk in a ditch somewhere.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
