let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
is she serious with that outfit? Why doesnt she just paste a for sale sign on her boobs?
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
I just came rly close to telling a dude that I want to chew on him and there should be an oil painting of his ass up in the louvre before I realized that isn't how flirting is supposed to go
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
tell me about the eggs
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
