Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
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