apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
