garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I woke up covered in my own vomit with a pocket full of napkins. I guess I knew I would need them, but was not coherent enough to use them before passing out.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
I GOT A VENDING MACHINE FOR OUR LIVING ROOM
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
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