wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
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Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
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We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
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