yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
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