ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
I've been to his house multiple times since that night and I STILL can't find my bra. And he says the hot tub ate my thong.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Randomize
