So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Why are there four guys spooning on the living room floor?
They're still there? Shit. They were supposed to leave after they hugged it out.
Randomize
