it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Yep. I'm going to buy a sex toy and a LARP prop on the same trip. Welcome to my life.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.