doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I just drove by a stop sign that had a used maxi pad stuck to it WHAT THE FUCK
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
Randomize
