An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
I told my new friends about my possible new chin. They said I should get my nose done first. Please tell me I'm pretty or something.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
Randomize
