So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
I just realized I slept with a guy who used the pickup line "do you have a bandaid? I skinned my knee when I fell for you."
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize
