He told me they were just razor bumps!
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
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