College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Fuck your fuckin pumpkin spice. You and your subtle differences frighten and disgust me.
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