In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I hope mine doesn't look like that
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I just threw up in my front yard because my roommate was in the bathroom. Fuck New Years Day.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Randomize
