You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize
