clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
You took a bar mat shot.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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