I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
