we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
He literally asked permission to hit on me
Randomize
