Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
I think my sex life is about to turn into a war on two fronts
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
Randomize
