i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
I think I sprained my soul last night
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
