He asked me to sit on his face, but i didnt, for 2 reasons, one, i had just pooped like 20 mins before sex, and two, this could be my future husband. so i skipped on sitting.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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