I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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