yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
This time last year I was crying in a church parking lot without shoes or a bra, so the years can only go up from here
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Long story short wrist restraints, Apple Watch and cumming all don’t mix
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