One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
