; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
it's official, after last weekend my girl number is higher than my guy number. fix this.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
You'd think, but when you nail one sorority sister, you might as well have nailed them all.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
I guess I'm just gonna have to learn to live with the fact that I'm the guy who takes his pants off at the party and tries to start an orgy
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
