So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
In a bar surrounded by couples hooking up. I'm just staring at one. Not drunk enough. Come save me.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I use my feet as sexual weapons
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
